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It’s not a land in which the foreigner suffers. It is not a hostile land or a wild land. It is, rather, a land of pointless minor absurdities and wholly unnecessary inconveniences, which coalesce to infuriate the ill-tempered and delight the rest. When I first arrived, I was informed by a nice older gentleman, “FIRSTNAME, do not ever ask ‘why’ here. You can ask yourself any other question, and the answers will enlighten you. But do not ask ‘why,’ because here, there is no ‘why.’” And he was right. The answer—the only answer—to “why” is “because China.

-emkajii on China

[Reddit]

(via papuros)

redditlove: “A pic my aunt took while in Beijing.” (via elysiandreamz) “‘Because China’ is the only way to put it. Last week I was in an elevator at 3pm with some nice people, patiently going downwards, stopping at every other floor for no reason because when most people in Guiyang want to call an elevator they hit both up and down regardless of which way they want to go (because China.) Then the elevator suddenly dropped a foot or so (felt like way farther, but couldn’t have been more than that,) then shot to the 26th floor, then shot down to floor 1. We exited, confused and frightened and a nice repairman explained that he assumed it was empty and was about to do some repairs. Why would he assume that? Because China. I went to a Pizza Hut with some friends a few days ago. (The Pizza Hut in Guiyang is one of the nicest restaurants in the city, partially because Chinese Pizza Huts are really nice places, and partially because Guiyang is a wasteland, which I say in an endearing way.) We ask if we can get a large pizza that’s half one thing and half another. Nope, they don’t do that. Okay, sure. We ordered a large pizza. Nope, they’re out of large pizzas. Okay, that actually doesn’t make any sense, but sure, we’ll take a medium vegetable garden and a medium pepperoni, and a pitcher of pepsi. We can’t give you a pizza with only pepperoni on it. Bullshit, yes, you can. Nope. Okay, whatever, not in the mood, give me the meat pizza. We get a small cup of pepsi and a medium pizza, half of which is vegetable garden and half of which is meat. I check the receipt. The receipt reflects what we ordered, both in English and Chinese. The waitress is at a loss to explain the theoretically impossible and utterly incorrect pizza. Why did they serve us that? Because China. (The previous time we went, we were served seven identical pizzas, having ordered three and paid for three, again, because China.) In the last month, I have been asked by different cab drivers, 1. how much whores are in America, 2. whether military service is compulsory in America, 3. if my parents are upset that I am 26 and unmarried, and 4. if I’ve got a big dick, or maybe if we (Americans) have big dicks, I’m not sure. But why do they think these are good questions to ask a guy who is trying to get to work? Because China. A couple weeks ago, in the middle of the road I saw a twenty-five-foot-or-so ladder, being held upright by two men. It was unsupported by anything else. At the top was another man, working on a power line, with nothing to brace him, bolster him, or hold him but the ladder being held by two dudes. Cars were swerving all around them. Nobody found this exceptional. Because, again, China. It’s not a land in which the foreigner suffers. It is not a hostile land or a wild land. It is, rather, a land of pointless minor absurdities and wholly unnecessary inconveniences, which coalesce to infuriate the ill-tempered and delight the rest. When I first arrived, I was informed by a nice older gentleman, ‘FIRSTNAME, do not ever ask ‘why’ here. You can asked yourself any other question, and the answers will enlighten you. But not ask ‘why,’ because here, there is no ‘why.” And he was right. The answer — the only answer to ‘why,’ is ‘because China.’” (via emkajii)

redditlove:

“A pic my aunt took while in Beijing.” (via elysiandreamz)

“‘Because China’ is the only way to put it.

Last week I was in an elevator at 3pm with some nice people, patiently going downwards, stopping at every other floor for no reason because when most people in Guiyang want to call an elevator they hit both up and down regardless of which way they want to go (because China.) Then the elevator suddenly dropped a foot or so (felt like way farther, but couldn’t have been more than that,) then shot to the 26th floor, then shot down to floor 1. We exited, confused and frightened and a nice repairman explained that he assumed it was empty and was about to do some repairs. Why would he assume that? Because China.

I went to a Pizza Hut with some friends a few days ago. (The Pizza Hut in Guiyang is one of the nicest restaurants in the city, partially because Chinese Pizza Huts are really nice places, and partially because Guiyang is a wasteland, which I say in an endearing way.) We ask if we can get a large pizza that’s half one thing and half another. Nope, they don’t do that. Okay, sure. We ordered a large pizza. Nope, they’re out of large pizzas. Okay, that actually doesn’t make any sense, but sure, we’ll take a medium vegetable garden and a medium pepperoni, and a pitcher of pepsi. We can’t give you a pizza with only pepperoni on it. Bullshit, yes, you can. Nope. Okay, whatever, not in the mood, give me the meat pizza. We get a small cup of pepsi and a medium pizza, half of which is vegetable garden and half of which is meat. I check the receipt. The receipt reflects what we ordered, both in English and Chinese. The waitress is at a loss to explain the theoretically impossible and utterly incorrect pizza. Why did they serve us that? Because China. (The previous time we went, we were served seven identical pizzas, having ordered three and paid for three, again, because China.)

In the last month, I have been asked by different cab drivers, 1. how much whores are in America, 2. whether military service is compulsory in America, 3. if my parents are upset that I am 26 and unmarried, and 4. if I’ve got a big dick, or maybe if we (Americans) have big dicks, I’m not sure. But why do they think these are good questions to ask a guy who is trying to get to work? Because China.

A couple weeks ago, in the middle of the road I saw a twenty-five-foot-or-so ladder, being held upright by two men. It was unsupported by anything else. At the top was another man, working on a power line, with nothing to brace him, bolster him, or hold him but the ladder being held by two dudes. Cars were swerving all around them. Nobody found this exceptional. Because, again, China.

It’s not a land in which the foreigner suffers. It is not a hostile land or a wild land. It is, rather, a land of pointless minor absurdities and wholly unnecessary inconveniences, which coalesce to infuriate the ill-tempered and delight the rest. When I first arrived, I was informed by a nice older gentleman, ‘FIRSTNAME, do not ever ask ‘why’ here. You can asked yourself any other question, and the answers will enlighten you. But not ask ‘why,’ because here, there is no ‘why.” And he was right. The answer — the only answer to ‘why,’ is ‘because China.’” (via emkajii)

danwilbur: I’m hosting an event this Saturday, February 4th @ 6 PM at Community Bookstore (143 7th Ave, Brooklyn): Jeff Ryan, author of Super Mario: How Nintendo Conquered America, will enlighten us about writing video game history along with long-time video game reviewer Chris Plante (Senior Editor, Vox Games, formerly The Daily and EDGE Magazine). Join us for Nintendo trivia, a Q&A, video game challenges, and nerdy snacks that will make you feel like you’re back in you parents’ basement replaying your favorite games!

danwilbur:

I’m hosting an event this Saturday, February 4th @ 6 PM at Community Bookstore (143 7th Ave, Brooklyn):

Jeff Ryan, author of Super Mario: How Nintendo Conquered America, will enlighten us about writing video game history along with long-time video game reviewer Chris Plante (Senior Editor, Vox Games, formerly The Daily and EDGE Magazine). Join us for Nintendo trivia, a Q&A, video game challenges, and nerdy snacks that will make you feel like you’re back in you parents’ basement replaying your favorite games!

Anonymous (2011) Shakespeare REmixed

#AnonymousMovie has a terrible review on NYTimes because it twists reality, historical facts, and exaggerated the fabric of possibility. Perhaps that is true, a lot of the plot is based on ignoring a lot of facts and historical accuracy and so forth.
However, by the end of the movie the one thing thought running through my mind was, “wow, that’s almost as dramatic as a Shakespearean play.” 

SO a small spoiler SMALL, the movie is presented to us as a play being narrated on stage while the audience is transported into the story (a la Phantom of the opera 2004) the premise of this actually being a theatrical production is only addressed in the beginning and at the end).

Now, bear with me, perhaps the movie exaggerated and ridiculous as it may be, is simply a story about a man weaving a story of dreams of the crown, political power plays, secrets, SEX! and plot twists galore in the likeness of Shakespearean works!

In fact, Anonymous is arguably a homage to Shakespeare; a modern day “remix”, “Propz”, “fistbump”, “Upvote”, or “shout-out” not to Shakespeare the man, but to the wondrous nature of the works themselves; to literature and how the power of prose can consume us, overwhelm us with the chills of a lovers touch, seething rage of betrayal, or the sudden pangs of a shattered heart. .

Shakespeare wrote “et tu, Brutus” he never heard it nor is it even confirmed as Caesar’s last words but that doesn’t make it less enjoyable to imagine that that was how the great J.C spent his last breath. Like a Boss. 

The film has a stellar cast of actors such as Rhys Ifans, the regal Vanessa Redgrave and Mark Rylance, one of Shakespeare’s leading modern interpreters. 

And finally, if Mr.Emmerich’s shadows have offended, think all but this its a movie not a documentary, while these visions did appear and this weak and idle theme no more yielding but a dream. With such masterful players and interesting plot why not come and suspend your mind? 


Anonymous - Opens 10/29/11
Theater, Elizabethan era and Shakespeare as you’ve never seen it before…even if that’s because its never happened like so before.